No More Apples in the Vending Machine Please
A few months ago T got me started on something and now I’m hooked. And I highly recommend you get into the habit.
Whenever you visit KFC ask for some twister sauce in a small container. Dip your chips.
KFC chips never tasted soooo good.
I know it sounds just as convincing as George Foreman selling a grill, but don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.
Chain Mail
------------------HAVE YOU EVER------------------
* Ever been so drunk you blacked out: yes
* Missed school because it was raining: yes
* Put a body part on fire for amusement: no
* Been hurt emotionally: yes
* Kept a secret from everyone: yes
* Had an imaginary friend: no
* Wanted to hook up with a friend: yes
* Cried during a movie: yes
* Had a crush on a teacher: no
* Ever thought an animated character was hot: no
* Had a New Kids on the Block tape: no
* Been on stage: yes
* Cut your hair: yes
-----------------FAVORITES------------------
* Shampoo: Herbal essence (my mum bought it, ok)
* Soap: Dove (my mum bought it too)
* Colour: Blue
* Day/Night: Night
* Summer/Winter: Summer
* Fave cartoon character: Homer Simpson
* Fave Food: Pizza
* Fave Advert: Peugeot ad with the Bollywood send-up
* Fave Movies: Forrest Gump, Romeo And Juliet, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
* Fave Ice Cream: Cookies and Cream
* Fave Subject: Anything
* Fave 'normal' drink: Vanilla Coke
* Fave person to talk to online: I hate talking online
------------------RIGHT NOW------------------
* Wearing: A Suit
* I'm feeling: Bored
* Eating: Oreo’s
* Drinking: Pineapple and orange juice
* Thinkin bout: Summer session / D
* Listening to: John Mayer
---------------IN THE LAST 24HRS------------------
* Cried: no
* Worn jeans: yes
* Met someone: someone new? - no - met up with someone? - yes
* Cleaned your room: no
* Done laundry: no
* Drove a car: yes
---------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN--------------
* Yourself: sometimes
* Your friends: yes
* Santa Claus: no
* Tooth Fairy: no
* Angels: no
* UFO's: yes
* Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend: yes
* Like anyone: Aside from my girlfriend? - No
* How long have you known the longest of your friends: 10 yrs
* Who's the loudest: Depends on the group
* Who's the shyest: Depends on the situation
* Who is the weirdest: Me?
* When you cried the most: Dec 1998 - January 1999
* What's the best feeling in the world: I'd rather not say...
* Worst Feeling: Hurting loved ones
* Who did you send this to who won't respond: I didn’t send it to anyone
* Who sent this to u: D
* Do you want all your friends to do this and send it back to you: please
* Time now: 10:54AM (27/11/02)
------------------HAVE YOU EVER------------------
* Ever been so drunk you blacked out: yes
* Missed school because it was raining: yes
* Put a body part on fire for amusement: no
* Been hurt emotionally: yes
* Kept a secret from everyone: yes
* Had an imaginary friend: no
* Wanted to hook up with a friend: yes
* Cried during a movie: yes
* Had a crush on a teacher: no
* Ever thought an animated character was hot: no
* Had a New Kids on the Block tape: no
* Been on stage: yes
* Cut your hair: yes
-----------------FAVORITES------------------
* Shampoo: Herbal essence (my mum bought it, ok)
* Soap: Dove (my mum bought it too)
* Colour: Blue
* Day/Night: Night
* Summer/Winter: Summer
* Fave cartoon character: Homer Simpson
* Fave Food: Pizza
* Fave Advert: Peugeot ad with the Bollywood send-up
* Fave Movies: Forrest Gump, Romeo And Juliet, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
* Fave Ice Cream: Cookies and Cream
* Fave Subject: Anything
* Fave 'normal' drink: Vanilla Coke
* Fave person to talk to online: I hate talking online
------------------RIGHT NOW------------------
* Wearing: A Suit
* I'm feeling: Bored
* Eating: Oreo’s
* Drinking: Pineapple and orange juice
* Thinkin bout: Summer session / D
* Listening to: John Mayer
---------------IN THE LAST 24HRS------------------
* Cried: no
* Worn jeans: yes
* Met someone: someone new? - no - met up with someone? - yes
* Cleaned your room: no
* Done laundry: no
* Drove a car: yes
---------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN--------------
* Yourself: sometimes
* Your friends: yes
* Santa Claus: no
* Tooth Fairy: no
* Angels: no
* UFO's: yes
* Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend: yes
* Like anyone: Aside from my girlfriend? - No
* How long have you known the longest of your friends: 10 yrs
* Who's the loudest: Depends on the group
* Who's the shyest: Depends on the situation
* Who is the weirdest: Me?
* When you cried the most: Dec 1998 - January 1999
* What's the best feeling in the world: I'd rather not say...
* Worst Feeling: Hurting loved ones
* Who did you send this to who won't respond: I didn’t send it to anyone
* Who sent this to u: D
* Do you want all your friends to do this and send it back to you: please
* Time now: 10:54AM (27/11/02)
The Green Bench
Saturday night, D and I settled by a park bench. It was off a back road typical in inner-city Sydney. We sat down, resting on faded and cracked green paint and an autographed bench by the UTB. The street lamps along the road were spaced liberally, allowing only a faint dim yellow overcast to counter the midnight darkness.
We had just finished watching The Ring and our conversation revolved on the superstitious - beliefs, practices and other urban legends.
"Why are there always children involved in scary movies? The Ring, Sixth Sense, The Shining, The Others, The Exorcist…"
"I have no idea, maybe becau…"
"Excuse me…"
Two strangers had eclipsed our light. The pair was an odd couple made in Hollywood heaven. The voice had come from a giant of a man, carrying the build of an ex-amateur wrestler. His head would twitch and turn to every direction, constantly scanning the immediate area not unlike a lighthouse. He barely held onto a cigarette, biting his nails in between clouds of smoke. His other hand remained inside his black jacket pocket, clutching something of great value.
His partner in crime was a small man with a big mouth; a cross between a healthy Michael J Fox, and a pre-fight Anthony Mundine.
D and I were anxious, but I tried not to show it. D wasn’t so shy. I addressed the pair, feeling slightly more at ease directing my voice at Fox-Mundine.
"Can I help you?"
"Do you have the time, brother?"
"Yeah, hang on…"
Since neither of us wore watches I searched D’s bag for my mobile. My hands were trembling. The inane chatter coming from Fox-Mundine was turning ugly and was unstoppable.
"So watcha two doin, eh? Bit a this mate? (Insert thrusting action) Sorry to bother you's. We’re just goin down to the pub to meet our mates for a beer eh..."
I can’t stand people who say ‘you's’
"It’s 1:45."
At that moment Lighthouse lunged forward attempting to pry the phone from my hands. But I held on, surprisingly. Fox-Mundine took the opportunity to go after D, who had run away, screaming towards the car.
As D jumped into the car she swiftly drove off, leaving myself to fend off the two. But suddenly Lighthouse let go.
The signal had come from his superior to flee.
I fell backwards on the bench with great force, further cracking the paint and injuring my back, a fitting reward for saving a phone that had insurance.
The duo hopped into a white Commodore and were gone within seconds, disappearing in the heavy mist that had settled during the whole ordeal.
*Ring Ring*
"Hello?"
"Are you ok?"
"I’m fine. They took off when you went. Must have thought you were contacting the police. Where’d you go?"
"I’m kinda lost. Where’s your map?"
"It’s in the boot."
Saturday night, D and I settled by a park bench. It was off a back road typical in inner-city Sydney. We sat down, resting on faded and cracked green paint and an autographed bench by the UTB. The street lamps along the road were spaced liberally, allowing only a faint dim yellow overcast to counter the midnight darkness.
We had just finished watching The Ring and our conversation revolved on the superstitious - beliefs, practices and other urban legends.
"Why are there always children involved in scary movies? The Ring, Sixth Sense, The Shining, The Others, The Exorcist…"
"I have no idea, maybe becau…"
"Excuse me…"
Two strangers had eclipsed our light. The pair was an odd couple made in Hollywood heaven. The voice had come from a giant of a man, carrying the build of an ex-amateur wrestler. His head would twitch and turn to every direction, constantly scanning the immediate area not unlike a lighthouse. He barely held onto a cigarette, biting his nails in between clouds of smoke. His other hand remained inside his black jacket pocket, clutching something of great value.
His partner in crime was a small man with a big mouth; a cross between a healthy Michael J Fox, and a pre-fight Anthony Mundine.
D and I were anxious, but I tried not to show it. D wasn’t so shy. I addressed the pair, feeling slightly more at ease directing my voice at Fox-Mundine.
"Can I help you?"
"Do you have the time, brother?"
"Yeah, hang on…"
Since neither of us wore watches I searched D’s bag for my mobile. My hands were trembling. The inane chatter coming from Fox-Mundine was turning ugly and was unstoppable.
"So watcha two doin, eh? Bit a this mate? (Insert thrusting action) Sorry to bother you's. We’re just goin down to the pub to meet our mates for a beer eh..."
I can’t stand people who say ‘you's’
"It’s 1:45."
At that moment Lighthouse lunged forward attempting to pry the phone from my hands. But I held on, surprisingly. Fox-Mundine took the opportunity to go after D, who had run away, screaming towards the car.
As D jumped into the car she swiftly drove off, leaving myself to fend off the two. But suddenly Lighthouse let go.
The signal had come from his superior to flee.
I fell backwards on the bench with great force, further cracking the paint and injuring my back, a fitting reward for saving a phone that had insurance.
The duo hopped into a white Commodore and were gone within seconds, disappearing in the heavy mist that had settled during the whole ordeal.
*Ring Ring*
"Hello?"
"Are you ok?"
"I’m fine. They took off when you went. Must have thought you were contacting the police. Where’d you go?"
"I’m kinda lost. Where’s your map?"
"It’s in the boot."
Statistical Challenge
The countdown is on for the showdown between Mario and UNSW…
Bring on the final exams.
Vital Statistics (Daily):
Two packs of Marlboro Mediums (oh how smooth art thou?)
Four cans of V
Five cups of coffee
Three hours of sleep
Five hours of study
Fourteen hours of non-sense chat (hot topics at the moment: Illuminati, group ethics, gambling problems, the ten commandments, time travel, conspiracy theories)
Two 7-Eleven hot dogs
One doner kebab with extra meat and garlic sauce
Two packets of Starburst (various)
One hour spent on printing lecture notes at work
One hour on miscellaneous activities...
GO GO GO!
The countdown is on for the showdown between Mario and UNSW…
Bring on the final exams.
Vital Statistics (Daily):
Two packs of Marlboro Mediums (oh how smooth art thou?)
Four cans of V
Five cups of coffee
Three hours of sleep
Five hours of study
Fourteen hours of non-sense chat (hot topics at the moment: Illuminati, group ethics, gambling problems, the ten commandments, time travel, conspiracy theories)
Two 7-Eleven hot dogs
One doner kebab with extra meat and garlic sauce
Two packets of Starburst (various)
One hour spent on printing lecture notes at work
One hour on miscellaneous activities...
GO GO GO!
Nikon in the City
A row of motorbikes is in-line by the gutter, sporty characters slouching slightly to their left.
V breaks into a smile as the needle passes seven; the trees are blurred by his speed.
Two fingers going their separate ways, D signs for peace. She is not linked to Al-Qaeda or any other terrorist network.
Clouded light breaking through falling leaves. The end of the tunnel is near.
Pigeons flock to leftover fries.
A row of motorbikes is in-line by the gutter, sporty characters slouching slightly to their left.
V breaks into a smile as the needle passes seven; the trees are blurred by his speed.
Two fingers going their separate ways, D signs for peace. She is not linked to Al-Qaeda or any other terrorist network.
Clouded light breaking through falling leaves. The end of the tunnel is near.
Pigeons flock to leftover fries.
Jekyll and Hyde
It's the end of the semester and I'm on track with my newfound direction...
Assignments have been submitted, my room is clean and my car is freshly waxed. I look forward to catching up with uni work during the upcoming summer session. I'm on track in saving for a proposed trip to Vietnam mid-next year. I contribute regularly to my managed funds scheme and my phone bill is affordable.
I'm quitting smoking and am cleanly shaven. I have a girlfriend that I love, and who loves me. I have great friends.
I live at home with absolute fear...
I'm on an academic probationary period, requiring me to pass at least 50% of my subjects - otherwise I can't go back to uni for three years.
I have a step-dad with draconian methods and disadvantageous double standards. My mother disagrees with these methods, yet strangely accepts them. My sister disagrees with these methods, but chooses to sit in front of the TV. She has difficulty in committing to anything more challenging than bathing herself.
My girlfriend yells at me because I don't have a good working memory. She too, at times, operates on double standards that disadvantage me. Strangely, I accept them.
I have a constant debt to my best friend that I can't shake off. I need to lose weight. I'm slowly going bald. I'm losing my job in two weeks...
It's the end of the semester and I'm on track with my newfound direction...
Assignments have been submitted, my room is clean and my car is freshly waxed. I look forward to catching up with uni work during the upcoming summer session. I'm on track in saving for a proposed trip to Vietnam mid-next year. I contribute regularly to my managed funds scheme and my phone bill is affordable.
I'm quitting smoking and am cleanly shaven. I have a girlfriend that I love, and who loves me. I have great friends.
I live at home with absolute fear...
I'm on an academic probationary period, requiring me to pass at least 50% of my subjects - otherwise I can't go back to uni for three years.
I have a step-dad with draconian methods and disadvantageous double standards. My mother disagrees with these methods, yet strangely accepts them. My sister disagrees with these methods, but chooses to sit in front of the TV. She has difficulty in committing to anything more challenging than bathing herself.
My girlfriend yells at me because I don't have a good working memory. She too, at times, operates on double standards that disadvantage me. Strangely, I accept them.
I have a constant debt to my best friend that I can't shake off. I need to lose weight. I'm slowly going bald. I'm losing my job in two weeks...
Quitter
V, W and I have set a pact to quit smoking. Being the three heavy-hitters within our group, it seemed like a good idea this afternoon to do some good for ourselves and for each other.
It's 12:09AM and I'm losing my temper. Withdrawal symptoms are already setting in.
The next few weeks are going to be hell...
V, W and I have set a pact to quit smoking. Being the three heavy-hitters within our group, it seemed like a good idea this afternoon to do some good for ourselves and for each other.
It's 12:09AM and I'm losing my temper. Withdrawal symptoms are already setting in.
The next few weeks are going to be hell...
Something New Everyday
Remember Alice in Wonderland? The Mad Hatter?
Well, the character actually has some truth. In the 18th century, mercury was an essential part of the hat-making process. The hat-makers, or hatters, were exposed to mercury (which is toxic to the brain and spinal cord) daily. This meant that a significant number of hat-makers became psychologically unwell, or mad.
Hence the name Mad Hatter!
Remember Alice in Wonderland? The Mad Hatter?
Well, the character actually has some truth. In the 18th century, mercury was an essential part of the hat-making process. The hat-makers, or hatters, were exposed to mercury (which is toxic to the brain and spinal cord) daily. This meant that a significant number of hat-makers became psychologically unwell, or mad.
Hence the name Mad Hatter!
Killing In The Name Of
I'm driving a blue Toyota Corona, the 1980's model, to pick up D. Fiddling with the tuner dial and coat-hanger antenna got me nowhere, the only noise coming out from the ancient speakers were sudden 'pop's and loud crackles. I reach for the passenger seat and find a pack of Marlboro Red's. I light one.
Amidst a smoky haze I emerge from the car and walk towards her window. Peering through the thin lines of her blinds I see that she has company.
Knock, Knock, Knock...
She walked out the door, hand in hand with C, her ex-boyfriend. He walks towards me with an outward hand and a cheeky, George Clooney-esque grin.
My attempt at a cold stare was perceived as a modelling pose. Think Zoolander minus the humour. I shake his hand.
"Hey Mario, how are ya?"
"I'm OK, how've things been? (ie- how's your anger management classes, underage girlfriend and drug dealing?)"
"Fine."
D looks at me quizzically. Her eyes asking me - why are you being so rude? Her bottom lip tightened. He looked at her and she feigned a smile. She didn't seem to get my message. I pull her aside.
"What is he doing here? It's our anniversary!"
Again she smiles, but this time it's natural. In some twisted way she found some sort of amusement in the situation.
Polite conversation filled the car as we drove towards the Saturday evening streets of Chinatown. Miraculously we found parking right outside of Cafe de Campbell. God knows why I'm eating here. The three of us were hurriedly ushered into a corner table for two.
I sat opposite D and C, attempting to eavesdrop on the their ongoing private jokes. It didn't work. I had to get her attention.
"D, could you please pour me some tea?"
As she reached over, C pulled her entire dress over her head. She froze in her position as the cafe air brushed her exposed body. The dining crowd turned to view, point and laugh. C was already on the floor, clutching his stomach.
I helped her fix her dress. She blushed, and managed to perform a mock bow. Strangely, the crowd started clapping, led by C. Her eyes were fixated on him.
I couldn't stand it anymore. Storming out of the cafe, I didn't turn back to her questions that slowly faded away. I raced out of my parking spot into idiotic traffic. The destination was unknown. The only thing certain was that I'm going to get there as fast as I could.
At an intersection on the back-streets of UTS, I swerved onto oncoming traffic. The radio in the car became alive. Rage Against The Machine crackled through the speakers.
Fuck you I won't do what you tell me!
Fuck you I won't do what you tell me!
I started to nod my head and sing along. I became reckless and wild. I disobeyed every traffic law. I took off my seatbelt...
Weaving through the agitated traffic, I found a sense of relief in causing so many people anger. A smile was drawn on my face.
I turn into a restricted construction site.
A sea of yellow and black barriers and an excavating team who shook their heads in worry greeted me. As I blasted through the final barricade the car launched into flight.
I was falling into a thirty-storey ditch.
I tried to put on my seatbelt. I don't know why. I felt helpless. I looked out the rear view window, the street lights losing their shine as I fell deeper into the abyss. The car continued to plunge head first. All I could feel was the sensation of a never-ending fall.
The morning sun shone across my room as I wiped off the cold sweat.
But I'm still falling...
I'm driving a blue Toyota Corona, the 1980's model, to pick up D. Fiddling with the tuner dial and coat-hanger antenna got me nowhere, the only noise coming out from the ancient speakers were sudden 'pop's and loud crackles. I reach for the passenger seat and find a pack of Marlboro Red's. I light one.
Amidst a smoky haze I emerge from the car and walk towards her window. Peering through the thin lines of her blinds I see that she has company.
Knock, Knock, Knock...
She walked out the door, hand in hand with C, her ex-boyfriend. He walks towards me with an outward hand and a cheeky, George Clooney-esque grin.
My attempt at a cold stare was perceived as a modelling pose. Think Zoolander minus the humour. I shake his hand.
"Hey Mario, how are ya?"
"I'm OK, how've things been? (ie- how's your anger management classes, underage girlfriend and drug dealing?)"
"Fine."
D looks at me quizzically. Her eyes asking me - why are you being so rude? Her bottom lip tightened. He looked at her and she feigned a smile. She didn't seem to get my message. I pull her aside.
"What is he doing here? It's our anniversary!"
Again she smiles, but this time it's natural. In some twisted way she found some sort of amusement in the situation.
Polite conversation filled the car as we drove towards the Saturday evening streets of Chinatown. Miraculously we found parking right outside of Cafe de Campbell. God knows why I'm eating here. The three of us were hurriedly ushered into a corner table for two.
I sat opposite D and C, attempting to eavesdrop on the their ongoing private jokes. It didn't work. I had to get her attention.
"D, could you please pour me some tea?"
As she reached over, C pulled her entire dress over her head. She froze in her position as the cafe air brushed her exposed body. The dining crowd turned to view, point and laugh. C was already on the floor, clutching his stomach.
I helped her fix her dress. She blushed, and managed to perform a mock bow. Strangely, the crowd started clapping, led by C. Her eyes were fixated on him.
I couldn't stand it anymore. Storming out of the cafe, I didn't turn back to her questions that slowly faded away. I raced out of my parking spot into idiotic traffic. The destination was unknown. The only thing certain was that I'm going to get there as fast as I could.
At an intersection on the back-streets of UTS, I swerved onto oncoming traffic. The radio in the car became alive. Rage Against The Machine crackled through the speakers.
Fuck you I won't do what you tell me!
Fuck you I won't do what you tell me!
I started to nod my head and sing along. I became reckless and wild. I disobeyed every traffic law. I took off my seatbelt...
Weaving through the agitated traffic, I found a sense of relief in causing so many people anger. A smile was drawn on my face.
I turn into a restricted construction site.
A sea of yellow and black barriers and an excavating team who shook their heads in worry greeted me. As I blasted through the final barricade the car launched into flight.
I was falling into a thirty-storey ditch.
I tried to put on my seatbelt. I don't know why. I felt helpless. I looked out the rear view window, the street lights losing their shine as I fell deeper into the abyss. The car continued to plunge head first. All I could feel was the sensation of a never-ending fall.
The morning sun shone across my room as I wiped off the cold sweat.
But I'm still falling...
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