Mr Brightside
It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this?
There's a phenomenon in this world that marries people and songs together at just the right time. It's like the equilibrium point in a supply and demand curve, that thrashing chord progressions and spoken words combine to meet you at the exact moment that the lyrics are apt, and they make beautiful sense in the X,Y and Z world.
New toys have always had the power to cheer me up. This time it's a Mac, and just as the advertisement promised, its sleek casing and foreign one-button mouse has resurrected a creative side in me that I've just let die since my break-up. I mean, you have to be creative when you've only got one mouse button to work with. The first project is (was?) a knee-jerk, angry, retrospective piece on the last five years of my life. I say 'was' because this has been shelved, quietly hibernating in the winter of My Documents gathering cyber-dust. It's a hundred-odd page mess that is my first attempt at meta-fiction. I hope to present this to a publisher by the end of the year, so I can relive the process of having another person tearing my heart apart, telling me of my shortcomings and abandoning me for some B-grade story about kid-sorcerers or Catholic conspiracies. The lack of a comments function in this blog says more than just oh, not many people read this - it says I can't take criticism very well. Let me tell you, it's hard being awesome.
But right now I'm trying to compose my own songs, with my own words armed with only an elementary knowledge of the world of music. I hope that emotion and ambition will be enough to drive me to create an mp3 I'd be proud to call mine. I guess I'm trying to create that phenomenon for myself, and every other stranger who might be feeling the same way. I've chanced on the phenomenon often enough as the stranger, so hopefully lightning will strike once for me on the other side of the relationship. It's a selfish way of returning the favour, really.
Out of curiosity and sheer chance, I managed to catch wind of your latest news. Goddamn, that brought a sour taste in my mouth. As one stupid turn deserves another, I attempted to contain the fires, or just purge everything, by way of tequila shots and Heineken. It was nice to be taken back to those oh-too-glorified days of how I used to define fun. But the fun didn't end there, although it should have. I never knew I had so much spite and fire within. Just as stupid turns go, so too did the revelations, and it's just been a fucking tragic story of one discovery after the other, not unlike a Springer episode. I like things to be moving, I'm a big fan of motion as well as emotion, but right now I'm an out-of-control trolley of unnecessary groceries that will inevitably crash into the most expensive car in the parking lot.
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss...